In the morning im heading off on coach down south to visit my Uncle in jail. He's locked up again on breach of licence accused of burglary & handling stolen goods. looking at 4 years, my Unc has spent most of his life in prison in and out...around 15yrs, so he's served the equivelant of what some people serve for murder. Im not condoning burglaries, they devestate lives. Ive done a number of burglaries myself, too many, but my rule was always strictly office's & shipping containers
anyway my auntie says he's feeling about as low as you can get because he feels like he's let everyone down again, he's brought it on himself so i dont feel much sympathy, as i dont really feel all that much sympathy for myself either, but if i can help the guy out then all the better.
Before he went back inside on remand awaiting trial, he spent some of the longest time he's been on the outside in a while, going on holiday, having security, you know....normal shit. But he's got wrapped up in it all again.
I aint never visited a prison before, to be honest me and my Unc have never been that close, as like i say, he's usually in lock up. I kept what is happening to myself quiet untill i found out my uncle had been banged up again...he's been inside a couple months and wern't coping well, so i decided to tell my Auntie what was happening to me, and to pass him on a message that im travelling down to see him and to make a booking for me. She said it helped him to know im facing the same sort of stuff, not in any malicious way atall, just because he must realize that atleast whats coming to him he knows what to expect, where as i am facing the unknown....guess it made him feel a little less sorry for himself which is good.
I'm looking forward to tommorow, ive been on a night time curfew for the past 4 months so have been pretty much under house arrest all this time...the police lifted it when i answered bail, but yeah it was good of the officer to lift that cos now atleast i can have a couple of days out without worryin bout breakin bail restrictions.
Monday, 13 June 2011
Sunday, 12 June 2011
A week after my first court appearance
Ive appeared at court for the first time since my arrest, which is now spanning some 4 months. 4 months of alot of sleepless nights, believe you and me. But its giving me some good time to get my shit prepared...
in court i was charged with:
Class A with intent to supply X 1
Class A possession X 1
Class C with intent to supply X 2
Class C possession X 2.
Im going not guilty on the Class C's with Intent, so hopefully the prosecution will drop these based on having me on a Class A with intent, guilty plea bargain. I have not entered a Plea at my first court appearance, as i have been advised to go "No Indication as to Plea" based on solictor advice, as the crown did not have all the evidence available, to bring forward.
I now have 3 more court dates, so it could take alot longer than i expected to be sentenced, upto another 5 long motherfukin months. So by the time this is at the high court it will be upto 9 months from the date of crime for me to be sent down....talk about a waste of taxpayers money, they've had 4 months to bring a case against me properly when it is pretty blatant that i was dealing.
The prosecutor at the first appearance was a snotty nosed bitch, she was about 5'0 and subject to a very heavy pre-menstual episode, im not normally derogatory to women, but she didn't even look at me once during the whole proceeding, and blew everything out of proportion, trying to make me sound like some kind of kingpin Pablo Escobar with kilo's and kilo's of the shit. Granted it weren't simple street dealing, but to seize my luggage scales from my house then ask how i got the money to pay for them when they were like 3.99 is ridiculous, what planet are these people on?....*sigh*
But i guess that is the job of the prosecution, they delve into every aspect and make it seem bigger to secure a longer conviction. You shout at your dog "Animal Abuser", You cross the road before the little man turns green "Endangering Lives", You bump into a female in the street "Sexual Assault", i couldn't sleep at night doing that personally, but 'Kay Sera Sera', its upto the defence to play it down just as much, which is where the term comes into play "The Scales of Justice"
Im not gonna lie, this is all quite exciting even if one of the scariest things anyone could possibly go through. Now its just a waiting game....
in court i was charged with:
Class A with intent to supply X 1
Class A possession X 1
Class C with intent to supply X 2
Class C possession X 2.
Im going not guilty on the Class C's with Intent, so hopefully the prosecution will drop these based on having me on a Class A with intent, guilty plea bargain. I have not entered a Plea at my first court appearance, as i have been advised to go "No Indication as to Plea" based on solictor advice, as the crown did not have all the evidence available, to bring forward.
I now have 3 more court dates, so it could take alot longer than i expected to be sentenced, upto another 5 long motherfukin months. So by the time this is at the high court it will be upto 9 months from the date of crime for me to be sent down....talk about a waste of taxpayers money, they've had 4 months to bring a case against me properly when it is pretty blatant that i was dealing.
The prosecutor at the first appearance was a snotty nosed bitch, she was about 5'0 and subject to a very heavy pre-menstual episode, im not normally derogatory to women, but she didn't even look at me once during the whole proceeding, and blew everything out of proportion, trying to make me sound like some kind of kingpin Pablo Escobar with kilo's and kilo's of the shit. Granted it weren't simple street dealing, but to seize my luggage scales from my house then ask how i got the money to pay for them when they were like 3.99 is ridiculous, what planet are these people on?....*sigh*
But i guess that is the job of the prosecution, they delve into every aspect and make it seem bigger to secure a longer conviction. You shout at your dog "Animal Abuser", You cross the road before the little man turns green "Endangering Lives", You bump into a female in the street "Sexual Assault", i couldn't sleep at night doing that personally, but 'Kay Sera Sera', its upto the defence to play it down just as much, which is where the term comes into play "The Scales of Justice"
Im not gonna lie, this is all quite exciting even if one of the scariest things anyone could possibly go through. Now its just a waiting game....
Friday, 27 May 2011
Day of Charge
Today's the day i have been charged for drug dealing, and a moment in my life where the reality and consequences for what ive been doing are starting to play out. SHIT!
Ive decided that i need to do something therapuetic if im mentally going to get through this, and thought blogging would be a good way of expressin myself, my thoughts, my feelings, and keeping in touch with the outside world whilst going through the hardest time in my life right now.
It was 3 months ago that i was arrested for "possestion with intent to supply" class A Drugs, and bailed to attend the police station today after investigations & forensics had been carried out on all the drugs involved and my mobile phones/laptops etc. They have also charged me with Class C with intent, which is a load of bullshit because they were personal, but whatever, that aint gonna make much difference since im being served with A's on a commercial scale basis.
Im due in magistrates court within the next 2 weeks, where i will be entering my plea's, and getting the ball rolling with my first steps in court proceedings. My plea's are going to be 'Guilty', cos they have me Bang To Rights on everything, it got to a point later on down the line i was getting so outta my head on my own drugs because i got um cheap as smarties, i fucked up and left a paper trail like Hansel & Gretel left fuckin breadcrumes, i was on everything, e's, ket, vals, I may aswell have went to the police station with an ounce of coke, a party hat, and my own pair of handcuffs...
Since being caught, ive had alot of crazy feelings. Fear and regret being my biggest, at the end of the day ive been told im pretty much going to prison for 3yrs. i aint never done no type of bird in my life, a number of times in police lockup is about it, and couple of court cases...And low and behold my local prison just so happens to be a Catagory A high security rough as fuck shithole, maybe if i move to cambridge or summet i could get put with a bunch of 'nice criminals'....Ha im just messin. Anyway, i got talking to a guy outside the police station, he was about to ride off on a bike with 7 evidence tags still attached, and a 'hoe' and 'rake' in a pair of evidence bags...i looked at him with a grin n said "i aint even gonna ask mate". We got chattin' and turns out he's done a stint in prison before, i could tell just from looking at him he's bin in n out before, so i just right out asked him some advice, and his main response was "don't take people in there too seriously".....I understood what he meant with some of the stuff, guy was in his 40's, and if i can get sound advice from anyone, its gonna be someone who's gone through what im about too. He said it was better "back in the day" compared to now, when it was 18-23hr a day lockdown, said there was less bickering and prisoner on prisoner violence, guess he likes the quiet life.
Suicide had been on my mind alot, i was facing a charge more serious than 3yr - and if they would have had enough evidence and decided to serve me with it, id be looking at around 7yr, but im not selfish enough to do that to the people i love...None of my crimes have been physically hurtful to other people, i guess you could call someone who deals drugs a wrecker of communities, but i believe prohibition laws on drugs are bollocks and people should have free will to take whatever they want, just as alcohol & tobacco, but does that mean i will still sell drugs when all this is over?....Hell No!. I dont want to take them either, ive wasted too much time time on being around them. Drugs were passed around growing up like a bomb with a timer, really ofton...
Im done with all this shit now, its destroyed my life, i have absolutley nothing left...my partner is gone, i dont blame her, how can i ask her to wait. I wouldn't want her to.
ive been doing everything i can to try and turn my life around, and show im a changed man, or not so much changed, but the real me is back... and that prison aint no right place for me...i believe in community rehabilitation, call me a liberal if you want...im not anything...but yeah i think addressing peoples problems has a better affect on crime. You've only got to look at places like Holland to see it.
Violent and sexual offenders, its a whole different ball game. You want to be violent, you get locked away with violent people. You want to rape, get your arse put in prison with a bunch of other perverts and lets see how paranoid you feel in the showers. I aint saying prison never works, but it doesn't really for short sentences. If i was gonna get a 2 month sentence for what ive done, id do half of it and be back on the street with the same mentality. But when i found out how long i could face, it prompted me to change my ways...
Ive decided that i need to do something therapuetic if im mentally going to get through this, and thought blogging would be a good way of expressin myself, my thoughts, my feelings, and keeping in touch with the outside world whilst going through the hardest time in my life right now.
It was 3 months ago that i was arrested for "possestion with intent to supply" class A Drugs, and bailed to attend the police station today after investigations & forensics had been carried out on all the drugs involved and my mobile phones/laptops etc. They have also charged me with Class C with intent, which is a load of bullshit because they were personal, but whatever, that aint gonna make much difference since im being served with A's on a commercial scale basis.
Im due in magistrates court within the next 2 weeks, where i will be entering my plea's, and getting the ball rolling with my first steps in court proceedings. My plea's are going to be 'Guilty', cos they have me Bang To Rights on everything, it got to a point later on down the line i was getting so outta my head on my own drugs because i got um cheap as smarties, i fucked up and left a paper trail like Hansel & Gretel left fuckin breadcrumes, i was on everything, e's, ket, vals, I may aswell have went to the police station with an ounce of coke, a party hat, and my own pair of handcuffs...
Since being caught, ive had alot of crazy feelings. Fear and regret being my biggest, at the end of the day ive been told im pretty much going to prison for 3yrs. i aint never done no type of bird in my life, a number of times in police lockup is about it, and couple of court cases...And low and behold my local prison just so happens to be a Catagory A high security rough as fuck shithole, maybe if i move to cambridge or summet i could get put with a bunch of 'nice criminals'....Ha im just messin. Anyway, i got talking to a guy outside the police station, he was about to ride off on a bike with 7 evidence tags still attached, and a 'hoe' and 'rake' in a pair of evidence bags...i looked at him with a grin n said "i aint even gonna ask mate". We got chattin' and turns out he's done a stint in prison before, i could tell just from looking at him he's bin in n out before, so i just right out asked him some advice, and his main response was "don't take people in there too seriously".....I understood what he meant with some of the stuff, guy was in his 40's, and if i can get sound advice from anyone, its gonna be someone who's gone through what im about too. He said it was better "back in the day" compared to now, when it was 18-23hr a day lockdown, said there was less bickering and prisoner on prisoner violence, guess he likes the quiet life.
Suicide had been on my mind alot, i was facing a charge more serious than 3yr - and if they would have had enough evidence and decided to serve me with it, id be looking at around 7yr, but im not selfish enough to do that to the people i love...None of my crimes have been physically hurtful to other people, i guess you could call someone who deals drugs a wrecker of communities, but i believe prohibition laws on drugs are bollocks and people should have free will to take whatever they want, just as alcohol & tobacco, but does that mean i will still sell drugs when all this is over?....Hell No!. I dont want to take them either, ive wasted too much time time on being around them. Drugs were passed around growing up like a bomb with a timer, really ofton...
Im done with all this shit now, its destroyed my life, i have absolutley nothing left...my partner is gone, i dont blame her, how can i ask her to wait. I wouldn't want her to.
ive been doing everything i can to try and turn my life around, and show im a changed man, or not so much changed, but the real me is back... and that prison aint no right place for me...i believe in community rehabilitation, call me a liberal if you want...im not anything...but yeah i think addressing peoples problems has a better affect on crime. You've only got to look at places like Holland to see it.
Violent and sexual offenders, its a whole different ball game. You want to be violent, you get locked away with violent people. You want to rape, get your arse put in prison with a bunch of other perverts and lets see how paranoid you feel in the showers. I aint saying prison never works, but it doesn't really for short sentences. If i was gonna get a 2 month sentence for what ive done, id do half of it and be back on the street with the same mentality. But when i found out how long i could face, it prompted me to change my ways...
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